


The Million Reasons Why

by reminiscingintherain



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: BBC Radio 1, Coming Out, DJ!NIck, Established Relationship, M/M, Manchester United, Secret Relationship, footie!louis, surprise proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 02:20:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20323486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reminiscingintherain/pseuds/reminiscingintherain
Summary: When closeted Manchester United striker Louis Tomlinson visits his secret boyfriend Nick Grimshaw on the Radio 1 Drivetime Show to promote his charity work, how long can secrets remain secret?





	The Million Reasons Why

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lululawrence](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lululawrence/gifts).

> SUS! This is for you, my darling!
> 
> When Layne challenged us to write fics for your birthday, I decided it would be fun to step outside of my comfort zone and attempt a bit of Tomlinshaw... so I really hope this is snarky and sassy enough, and I hope you like it!!
> 
> Sending you tons of love and cuddles for your birthday... you absolutely deserve the very best! <3
> 
> Title and inspiration from the song 'The Way You Love Me' by Faith Hill.
> 
> Huge thank you to [Lynda](http://wait4ever.tumblr.com/) and [Katie](http://larrymaybe22.tumblr.com/) for your amazing beta work as always.
> 
> Shout out to the wonderful [Evelin](http://evilovesyou.tumblr.com/) for her fabulously quick work on the moodboard!

"Good afternoon, you lovely people of Great Britain, you're listening to BBC Radio 1, and I'm Nick Grimshaw. I'll be with you for the next three hours, getting you home on this wonderful sunny day. As always, at quarter to six we have Newsbeat with Ben Mundy."

Nick held a thumb up to Louis, raising an eyebrow.

"Sounding great, love," Louis smiled. "But aren't you used to doing links and shit by now?"

"That is entirely beside the point, Lou," Nick sighed heavily, getting up from the chair by the table he had been sitting in and crossing to the sofa, flopping down next to Louis. "I've never done a show with my secret boyfriend sitting opposite me before. I need to practice. Get into the groove."

Louis wriggled closer, resting his head on Nick's shoulder.

"You'll be amazing, darling," he said softly. "You always are."

"Who are you, and what have you done with Louis?" Nick asked flatly. "You're never this nice to me."

"I am if it's important!" Louis protested. "And I figure this is important. You're stressing out. I don't like it when you stress out. You get all gassy and grumpy cos you're gassy. So, I figure it's best all around to try and settle you down, than wind you up even more." He huffed quietly. "I can be thoughtful."

Nick pressed a kiss to the top of Louis' head.

"I know you can, babe," Nick said quietly. "I'm just not used to it being aimed at me. You've got your gentle voice on that you normally use on your sisters and brother. The last time you used it with me was when Eileen was poorly and you were worried about me."

"Yeah, well, I'm worried about you and your sanity right now," Louis rolled his eyes slightly. "You're building this up to be a shit-ton bigger than it actually is, and I'm half-terrified that you're gonna give yourself a heart attack, old man." He patted at Nick's chest condescendingly.

"Ah ha, there's my pint-sized snarky shithead of a boyfriend," Nick nodded slowly. "I'm so glad he's reappeared, I was about to send out a search party." He gently pinched at Louis' side, making him squirm a little. "I just don't know how to not be like this around you. How the hell do I sit there and ask about the Believe In Magic Cinderella Ball for Sick Kids, and everything that you and your teammates have done for it, when firstly, I already know because you discussed every single detail with me at great length, and b, I never know how to control my voice when I talk to you, and I know I get all soft and shit with you, and I just know I'm gonna call you darling, or babe, or love or something, and then you'll be outed, and you'll be fired, and you'll be ostracised from the shitty world of football cos they're all homophobic twats!" He breathed heavily as he finished, his words having been practically falling over each other at the end of his rambling speech.

"Well, that's an awful lot to unpack," Louis said slowly. "But I don't think there's a lot to worry about with regards to outing me. I know that you're really sensitive to stuff like that. You haven't outed Harry at all since you left your night time slot!"

"You are such a shit," Nick growled. "You know that Harold was in on all of that."

"I do, but it's so easy to wind you up, love," Louis grinned, softening his words by leaning over and pressing a kiss to Nick's cheek. "Look, I really think you're worrying over nothing. We're both perfectly capable of being professional when we need to be. It's not like our paths have never crossed at work before."

"Not this directly," Nick huffed. "We've had bare minimum interaction requirements before. And then we've been able to escape to where it doesn't matter because people already fucking know. I'm sorry. I just keep going over and over this in my head and it's freaking me out so much."

Louis wrapped his arms around Nick's waist and slung his legs over his lap, wriggling closer.

"I promise I'll be on my best behaviour, and I won't make things harder for you," Louis promised in a quiet voice. "I want to make things as easy for you as I can. And I want you to trust me with that."

"I do trust you, Louis. I trust you with my life, you know that." Nick gave him a soft smile. "And I'm so glad I have you in it."

"But... you'd prefer it if we weren't always behind closed doors," Louis guessed.

"I never said that at all," Nick said quickly. "I'm perfectly happy as we are. I would never ever pressure you to come out publicly."

"I know that, darling," Louis reassured him. "And I know you wouldn't want me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. But you're not the only one who's getting a bit fed up with the closet." Louis sighed heavily, nuzzling into Nick's shoulder. "I am too. I mean... the rest of the team knows, the higher ups know. It's like... the best kept secret in the Premier League at this point."

"Premier League and radio," Nick pointed out. "I think everyone I work with knows about us too."

"Yeah, I know. But I wish I could actually show up to events with you, hold your hand, go out shopping with you," Louis sighed. "You know? I want the world to know that we're together, and that I'm proud to call you mine, and that I'm completely, ridiculously, stupidly, head over heels in love with you."

Nick flushed hard, ducking his head against Louis'.

"Love you too," he eventually mumbled. "And that sounds pretty awesome, I have to admit."

"I'm gonna talk to the PR people," Louis said quietly. "I'm gonna see what steps I can take to actually come out. Publicly. See what happens."

"Oh, Lou," Nick sighed. "I don't want you to feel like you should do that."

"I never said I felt like I should," Louis pointed out. "I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for me. Don't be so fucking selfish, Grimshaw. Shit's not always about you."

Nick watched him quietly for a few moments, before he leaned down to kiss Louis gently.

"No, it's not, and I one hundred percent support everything you do," he said quietly.

Louis smiled.

"And we're going to ace this interview tomorrow," Louis reassured him. "So I think we should get an early night, so I can give you a decent blowie and get you properly relaxed, and then we can sleep a bit later tomorrow, have a nice, chilled day before you have to go in. Sound like a plan?"

"Definitely," Nick agreed. "Lead the way."

~~~~

"Good afternoon!" Nick began, adjusting his headphones slightly. "You're listening to Radio 1's Drivetime, I'm your host Nick Grimshaw, and we have an actual bevy of guests for you today. We'll be talking to Marvin and Rochelle Humes about their new Saturday night telly show, The Hit List, then we've got the ever-wonderful, ever-fabulous, ever-beautiful Rita Ora talking about the last leg of her Phoenix tour. And in the last hour, we're going to have Manchester United striker - he's a striker, right? I got that right, Producer Liam? Yeah? Okay, awesome - yes, we'll have Manchester United striker Louis Tomlinson here in the studio talking about the charity fundraiser he's helping to put on next week. Grab your tissues, it's gonna be about kids. Okay, folks, have a bit of Florence to kick us off."

He let out a shaky breath as soon as the 'on air' light turned off, and the sounds of Hunger filtered through the speakers.

"You're doing fine," Producer Liam reassured him with a wink. "I liked the touch about not knowing his position." He held up an 'okay' sign with his hand. "Classic."

"Yes, thank you, Producer Liam," Nick huffed. "You're not as helpful as you think you are." He glanced down at his phone. "But thankfully, my boyfriend is. He thought I sounded natural. So. I'm gonna try and go with it."

The next two hours seemed to both fly past and take forever at the same time. Before he knew it, there was a message on his phone saying that Louis was in the building, and then he was walking through the door of the studio, his normal bright smile in place as he greeted everyone who crossed his path. Louis was looking calm and relaxed in skinny jeans and an oversized hoody, that Nick was pretty sure had been on his side of the wardrobe when he left for work that morning.

"Hiya mate, you alright?" Louis said to him cheerfully.

"The webcam's not on yet, and there's another song lined up after this," Nick chuckled, standing up to pull him into a hug.

"Oh thank fuck," Louis mumbled, burying his face in Nick's shoulder as he held on tightly. "I so needed a cuddle right now."

"You've always got it from me, Lou," Nick reassured him, squeezing a little tighter. "How's your day been?"

"Had a couple of meetings before I came here," Louis said quietly. "But other than that, you were with me. So it's been nice and quiet."

They chatted a little more, until the screen in front of Nick flashed up red to signal thirty seconds until the end of the track playing.

"Shit, time to get into position," he said softly.

"Game faces," Louis winked as he moved to the other side of the desk and pulled on the headphones Producer Liam handed him. "It's gonna be fine, babe. Let's do this."

"That was the amazing Billie Eilish, who I will be interviewing in Los Angeles early next week, oooh, but it won't be aired for another couple of weeks, boo, but keep an ear out for it, lovely listeners," Nick immediately launched into his normal monologue. "But right now, go crazy, go wild, get excited, cos Louis Tomlinson is in the studio! Hiyaaa!"

"Hello, mate!" Louis immediately replied, chuckling. "You alright? How's it going?"

"Yeah, yeah, not too bad, y'know," Nick grinned. "How's the football going?"

"Well, it's currently off-season, so I'm just relaxing a lot, spending time with the family, the partner, the dogs, y'know," Louis shrugged nonchalantly.

At the word 'partner', Nick's jaw dropped and his eyes widened in shock as he stared, leaving a little dead air over the waves until Producer Liam managed to get his attention.

"Uh, wow, so the normal stuff then," he struggled to recover. "Obviously, that's not what you're here to talk about today, so I'm going to stop pretending right now that I know anything whatsoever about football. Instead, you're doing something pretty amazing for charity at the end of next week, I understand?"

"Yeah, yeah," Louis nodded enthusiastically, then covered his mouth with his fist as he cleared his throat. "Excuse me. Uh, yeah, so me and me mum, uh, me mum and I, we've been working away for the past few weeks, organising a charity ball for the Make A Wish Foundation. It's for the kids that the charity helps, and we've arranged for all of the kids to have new dresses and little suits, and it's going to be full of glitter and sparkles and magic." He beamed. "It's basically a five year old's dream of a fairytale come true."

"This sounds completely adorable," Nick commented, barely able to control the fondness showing in the tone of his voice. "So how did you and your mum wind up getting involved in this?"

"Well, ever since I got signed up to the Doncaster Rovers juniors, way back when, I've always done my best to try and give back, y'know?" Louis explained. "Donny were really good to me, they let me give away a fair few tickets to kids who wanted the experience of a proper game day, but couldn't get to any of the big venues or stadiums, as well as a load of kit. Then when I moved up to the main league, there was more opportunity to do good." He shrugged a little. "Manchester United gave me even more opportunities, and I've kinda run with it as much as I could."

"And your mum's involved too?" Nick asked.

"Oh god, yeah," Louis agreed quickly. "Me mum's the absolute best. She's a community midwife, so she's used to going all over the place to help mothers give birth. But she's also got seven of us kids, and she's got a passion in her, a drive that just makes her want to keep giving back to everyone who needs it. She definitely passed that trait onto me, which is why I've always done so much like it."

"Jay Deakin is an absolute saint," Nick commented without even thinking.

"That she definitely is," Louis smiled softly. "I definitely wouldn't have gotten as far with this if it hadn't been for her. I reckon it would've just been me and my sisters all in Mum's front room watching Disney films!"

"Oh, you've walked right into this," Nick started to chuckle. "But I have to ask... in that scenario, would your sisters have done your makeup and put you in a pretty dress?"

"Definitely!" Louis declared, before he burst into laughter. "I can't tell you how many times I've turned up to training with painted nails and glitter still in my hair from where I was looking after them the night before. My partner loves to tease me about it when I get home too, but that's just cos he's a bit of a sod like that," he added in an affectionate tone.

Nick was just taking a sip of his water, but spluttered it across the desk at Louis' choice of wording.

"Uh, that, uh, that doesn't sound very nice," he managed, frantically wiping at the water with his sleeve and glaring at Louis as subtly as he could manage.

"Oh, he's not," Louis agreed with a snicker. "Generally speaking, we spend an awful lot of time arguing." Louis shrugged a shoulder. "But I love him, and he makes me happy, and yes, Nicholas, this is me coming out on your show, but I'd really prefer it if we focused more on the charity stuff, please."

Nick stared at him for a moment, before he smiled softly.

"Of course," he said gently. "But how about a song first? Let the news sink in a little for our listeners. Especially as every single line of our switchboard is solid, and our social media mentions are on the verge of crashing." He flashed Louis a wink. "And in a completely unplanned but ultimately perfect fit of serendipity, this is Diana Ross, and I'm Coming Out."

He tapped a couple of buttons on the desk in front of him so the track began to play and the light went out, before he looked over at Louis.

"Is there a reason you didn't warn me about that, you dick?" Nick demanded, rolling up a sheet of paper and throwing it at a giggling Louis.

"Because if I'd warned you, I wouldn't have been able to witness that fantastic expression on your face!" Louis laughed, swinging on his chair. "But I'll warn you of this: by the end of the show, everyone will know that you're my partner, babe."

"Oh jeez," Nick sighed. "How come? I mean, not that I'm protesting. But only if you're sure."

"My meetings were with the bosses," Louis smiled softly. "They're happy for this to happen. They figure this, with the charity ball, will go far in helping with good feeling and morale for the team at the start of the new season."

"So, they're happy for you to come out cos it makes them look good?" Nick raised an eyebrow. "Even though they're literally nothing to do with either that or the Ball?"

"I'm not arguing with them, love. I know it's opportunistic, and they're being somewhat douchey about it, but..." Louis shrugged a shoulder. "Ultimately, we're all getting what we want out of it. It's a win-win situation. And I'm being allowed to control the whole thing, which definitely helps with making it genuine."

"Babe, how could it not be genuine anyway?" Nick asked in confusion. "You're gay. You're in a same sex relationship. What is there not to be genuine about?"

"I guess they just want me to be as real with everything as possible," Louis said in a considering tone. "They don't want us to be forced or unnatural."

"Oh, well, I'll do my best to be proud of my boyfriend," Nick huffed.

“Don’t be like that,” Louis grumbled quietly. “I personally thought this was the best way, on your show, with us both here, rather than me just randomly bringing it up in another interview somewhere else. I was kinda hoping you’d be on board.”

Nick let out a heavy sigh, glancing at the monitor to check how long there was on the current track, and lining up another to play afterwards to give them a bit more time.

“I am on board, Lou,” he said gently. “You know that. I just hate that there’s always an ulterior motive to everything. It’s always about how it looks, and how it’s perceived. Leaves a nasty taste in my mouth.”

“I know, I know it’s not the best thing or the best way or anything like that,” Louis said carefully. “But I’ve been thinking about it for ages, and I’ve spoken to Mum about it loads. And I know I’m springing it on you, but I was really hoping that you’d be okay with it.”

“What did Mama Jay have to say?” Nick asked slowly.

“She said the same as you,” Louis said reluctantly. “She hates that it’s all commercialised and spin. She just wants us both to be happy. Oh, and we have to go up there this evening for tea.”

“How can I refuse an evening of amazing cooking, excellent company, and your sisters ragging on you every five seconds?” Nick asked with a smirk.

“So, we’re good for the rest of the show?” Louis said hopefully.

“Yes, we’re good, we’re fine, we’re bloody brilliant,” Nick rolled his eyes. “You’re just bloody lucky I love you so damn much, Tomlinson,” he added, pointing at his boyfriend dramatically.

“Love you too, Nicholas,” Louis replied with a grin. “Now hurry up and put the mics up, before Producer Liam has a heart attack or something.”

“Shit,” Nick cursed under his breath, before he tapped the right button. “Sorry about that lovely listeners! It seems that the fabulous Mr Tomlinson is just too much of a distraction and I didn’t realise that Stormzy had finished. So, what’s next for you today, Louis?”

"Well, as I was saying during the songs, once I get done this interview, I'm gonna hang around and wait for my partner to finish up," Louis said pointedly. "Then we're headed up north to Donny to see my family. Mum's invited us for dinner, and she's making her famous roast beef and Yorkshire pudding cos she knows it's your favourite." He raised his eyebrows challengingly at the end.

Nick closed his eyes briefly, shaking his head slightly in resignation as he smiled.

"Well, I keep trying to tell you that Mama Jay loves me more," he told Louis. "But you just can't accept the truth."

"Mama Jay is a sucker for your compliments, that's all," Louis retorted.

"Like I said, she loves me more," Nick shrugged. "She even told me so."

"Now I know you're lying!"

"Uh, Nick?" Producer Liam interrupted. "Time check."

"Oh! Yes, of course, thank you Producer Liam," Nick exclaimed. "We're nearly through with our time here. I have time for a couple of questions from the old Twitter, @BBCR1. Okay, this is from someone called Rachel, she wants to know if the tickets to the ball are publicly available."

"Wow, a sensible one, I'm shocked, Nicholas," Louis smirked, and pulled a piece of paper from his pocket to look at. "But to answer the question; no, unfortunately not, Rachel. They've been designated to specific children and their families who are on the Make A Wish books. However, there is a number that you can text in order to donate. If you text the word 'WISH' followed by the amount that you wish to donate in numerical form - for example WISH, followed by the number ten for ten pounds - to 70450. All the usual terms and conditions apply."

"There you go, Rachel, give the little kiddies some money, help make their wishes come true," Nick said firmly. "Time for one more question, this is from Mike. Ooh, he's asking the big question. Are you two together or something, cos the sexual tension is practically tangible over the radio." He snickered softly as he looked over at Louis. "You wanna put them out of their misery, love?"

"I think you just did?" Louis asked, before he snickered. "But yeah. I guess I could be with you. You're sorta nicely shaped and you smell okay."

"Wow, thank you so much for  _ that _ stellar commendation," Nick replied deadpan. "Yes, Mike. We are together. And we're always like this. Or something."

“Don’t lie, Nick, you know you love me,” Louis grinned. “And you know I love you too.”

“Oh, so we’re going that far publicly, are we?” Nick sighed, raising his eyes to the ceiling. “Yes, I love you.”

“And I’ve hijacked the playlist, or rather, I got Producer Liam to, in exchange for pitch-side seats at the first home game at Old Trafford for the new season,” Louis stated smugly.

“Oh god no, what’ve you arranged? And why can’t I find it?” Nick asked, frantically clicking at buttons on his disabled screen.

“Quit your worrying,” Louis huffed. “I just asked for him to play our song.” He screwed up a piece of paper into a ball and threw it gently at Nick’s head. “Cos I was gonna ask you to marry me.”

Nick stared at him in shock, as Producer Liam pressed the right buttons, and Faith Hill’s  _ The Way You Love Me _ began to play over the airwaves, while Louis smiled at Nick tenderly.

“So… what do you say?” He asked after a few moments with no response from Nick. “Will you marry me, Grimshaw? Make an honest man of me?”

“You utter prick,” Nick eventually spluttered. “I was going to ask you next sodding week, after the bloody ball! I’ve bought a ring and everything!”

“Well, so have I, and I know you’ll like it, cos Harry helped me pick it out,” Louis huffed.

“That explains why when he came with me he spent the whole shopping trip sniggering into his hands every five seconds,” Nick grumbled.

"Oh yeah, cos I got this sorted weeks ago," Louis said smugly. "Just after the Cup Final, right before he went off to LA. Also, you still haven't given me an answer. I can't believe you're leaving me hanging like this. I'm starting to take offence here."

"Do you even have this magnificently perfect ring with you?" Nick asked. "Because I may want to say no if that doesn't come up to snuff." He huffed again. “I can’t believe you actually proposed on my own bloody radio show. That takes some balls, love.”

"You do talk some bollocks, mate," Louis sighed, but stood up and tugged the headphones off, placing them carefully on the desk before he came around to stand in front of Nick. "You're gonna want this done properly now that I'm here, aren't you?"

"Well," Nick shrugged a shoulder carelessly. "You may as well, now you're here and all."

"At least Faith's still singing," Louis muttered, pulling a ring box from his pocket as he dropped down to one knee. "Nicholas Peter Andrew Grimshaw, you have my heart, you have my love, and now I want you to have my ring and my name... will you marry me?"

Nick gazed at him for a few moments, his eyes flickering to the ring and back a couple of times, before he let out a heavy, put-upon sigh.

"Well, I suppose so," he rolled his eyes. "If I don't have you, it'd mean some other poor git would have to put up with you - and I'd never want to subject anyone else to that."

"So you're agreeing to marry me for the good of the rest of the population?" Louis checked.

"Oh yeah, without a doubt," Nick nodded seriously, before he smiled softly. "Get up here, you dick." He grabbed the front of Louis' hoody and pulled him up carefully, pressing a kiss to his lips. "I love you, of course I wanna marry you, you idiot."

"I love you too, twat," Louis murmured, settling himself on Nick's lap easily and slipping his arms around Nick's shoulders.

"Comfy there?" Nick asked in amusement.

"Nowhere else I'd rather be."

**Author's Note:**

> [[Rebloggable tumblr post](https://reminiscingintherain.tumblr.com/post/187139289915/the-million-reasons-why)]
> 
> FYI - the text to donate information that Louis gives out is accurate for the UK. So please, if you wish to, feel free to do so! ❤❤❤


End file.
